Thursday, 6 August 2015

How Anti-Social Are You?

I am in the main a fairly calm person but I suffer from two forms of rage. Air rage and cinema rage. When I find myself in the confines of an airplane or in a cinema, I become something akin to the Incredible Hulk and fear it's only a matter of time before I’m led away in handcuffs. 

I’ve heard of people who suffer from supermarket rage and find themselves scuffling in queues or grappling in the aisles, but not even being rammed from behind by a trolley can induce me to want to kill. Likewise in the gym, despite hearing tales of fisticuffs over hogging the treadmill or leaving machines soaked in sweat, none of that can rile me up. 

However, as soon as a plane leaves the ground, I could quite literally massacre everyone on board. There’s something about being crammed in, especially when the person in front decides to recline their seat that makes me hyper-sensitive to every sight, sound and movement. The person several rows behind talking too loudly, the person next to me wafting their newspaper a little bit too close to my space or, God forbid, the person who tries to engage me in conversation. There’s something about not having much space that makes me want to cling onto what little I have like a mad woman. 

Even more intense, is the rage I feel on a regular basis when I visit the cinema. I sometimes wonder why I even bother to go when every trip is like playing Russian roulette with a stroke. There are so many things that can trigger my descent into full blown serial killer mode. In no particular order: people sitting on my row when practically every other row is free, people using mobile phones and lighting up the entire cinema with their texts, people eating food noisily, people talking and laughing and generally enjoying themselves. In fact, if I'm honest people even existing, given that my best experiences are the ones when there is nobody else in the cinema. 

I realise that my rages say more about me than anybody else and that, sooner or later, I’m probably going to have to become a recluse. Either that or risk being arrested for taking down an entire plane or running amuck in my local cinema.


  1. I can relate totally, especially with the cinema, and shows for that matter too. Why go to either if you want to chat, eat or play with a device.

    1. Oh don't get me started Cathy. The other day two women in their 60s chatted throughout the film and all I could think was why not just go to a coffee shop. The thing with shows as well is when people take little ones who are too young to sit for that length of time and just get bored and noisy. Right I'll stop now - I can feel my bloody pressure going up :D :D

  2. Ha! Me too :-D People can be so inconsiderate.