Did you know there are hardly any female serial
killers? It’s true, I’ve read it. Nobody ever thinks it could be a woman which
means I’m completely off the radar. Especially given that I’m middle-aged, law
abiding with no connections to the police at all. Except for those times I
complained but they don’t really count because the useless young idiots who
turned up didn’t even bother to write anything down.
That’s how I knew they weren’t going to do
anything. They were just humouring a fussy old woman, I could see it in the way
they didn’t even have the common courtesy to make eye contact when I was telling
them about the goings on. They could barely contain their impatience to get
gone. Probably chomping at the bit to be off fighting ‘real crime’, no doubt
tasering someone or giving them a good kicking. Oh I read the newspapers and
these two weren’t fooling me. I don’t know who these louts think pay their
wages, I pay my council tax and the rates on my shop are astronomical.
That’s what gets my goat the most - here I am a
small business woman trying to bring something to the area and all I get for my
trouble is disgusting drunken men urinating down my door, students who should
know better vomiting everywhere and worst of all I once found a used condom on
my doorstep. I swear to all that’s holy this country has gone to hell. I’m just
glad my dear old mum’s not here to see it. She always used to say, if you haven’t
got standards then you are nothing.
Nothing! These people are nothing, they don’t
count, and they’ve brought everything on themselves. I watch them walking past,
young women with all their flesh hanging out – big fat things most of them. I
don’t know what it is about young people and food. Emily, the girl who works
for me, is no better. Lovely girl, even though she’s a bit dim. She’s a
university student as well although it’s not like it used to be, they’ll let
anybody in these days. I’ve tried to talk to her about standards but she’s too
busy eating cake. She’s obsessed with cake! It’s like mum used to say, one
thousand calories is all the body needs. These young ones though they don’t
listen, they just let it all hang out. Disgusting creatures most of them if you
ask me.
That’s the trouble though they never ask me. I
could sort this country out in no time at all. In fact, that’s exactly what I’ve
been doing. I’ve had to be, what do they call it – pro-active? I knew the
police weren’t going to help, total waste of time they were so I took matters
into my own hands. It all started with a young hoodlum, you know the type I
mean – trousers practically around his knees and all his under garments on
show. I’ve lost all hope for this country, I really have. Anyway I was sorting though
my stock so the shop was closed and I watched him relieve himself against my
door, bold as brass he was.
How could I let that go? Absolutely no standards
at all. I don’t really know what came over me but without realising it I
slipped the knife I’d been using for slitting the boxes into my pocket and
quietly stepped out into the darkness. I followed him for ages and he never
even noticed it was like I was invisible. I didn’t plan anything, not that
time, but when he veered off down a shortcut between two shops I quickened my
pace and stuck the knife in his back. Right between his shoulder blades.
He screamed so loudly I felt sure everyone must
have heard and I admit I did panic. I pulled the knife out and plunged it into
his throat, mainly just to shut him up. I think it was a bit of a shock to both
of us how much blood sprayed out. I was covered in it. I had to take my cardi
off and carry it back to the shop. It was completely ruined. Nobody noticed
though and that’s when I realised how easy it was.
I don’t bother with the police now, I sort out my
own problems and it’s much quicker and more effective. There’s no warnings, no
second chances. My mum always used to say, give people an inch and they’ll take
a mile and she was right. In fact sometimes I’m doing these people a favour.
Take the homeless man for instance who had the cheek to bed down in my doorway.
What life has he got? I did feel some compassion, I mean I’m not heartless and
they do say these things can befall any of us. I might even have looked the
other way if he hadn’t left all his dirty litter behind like an animal. No, he
had zero standards, no good to himself or anyone else; it was like putting a
dog out of its misery.
It took a while for the police to start to notice,
I told you they’re a waste of time, total dimwits the lot of them. They’re
warning people now though not to be out at night by themselves. I just hope
people listen and start behaving like decent human beings. It’s not like I
enjoy doing all this extra work on top of running a business. Some days I’m
exhausted from it all but somebody's got to have standards or we
might as well be savages.
