tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1122902030745117854.post8718605413554100232..comments2018-11-08T11:54:06.696-08:00Comments on Lindley Blogs: The Cult Of MotherhoodAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17375609435234253673noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1122902030745117854.post-31257350526631320862015-07-13T03:20:45.703-07:002015-07-13T03:20:45.703-07:00That sounds more of an issue with the managers (wh...That sounds more of an issue with the managers (who are probably pleasing themselves) than with the parents. Yes, it's unfair, and yes, it will create an awful divide between those who have kids and those who don't.sallywhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08904132234331467720noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1122902030745117854.post-48127804132620244282015-07-09T13:39:53.682-07:002015-07-09T13:39:53.682-07:00Just found your comment, Sal, and I think it's...Just found your comment, Sal, and I think it's such a good one it warrants being said twice :D It's a disgrace the way holdays are so expensive during school hols. I have a friend who works in an office though who is childless and she and other childless people aren't allowed to take any days off in any of the school hols - apparently they are all blocked out for parents only. How to divide a work force or what :D Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17375609435234253673noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1122902030745117854.post-30225461262945883982015-07-07T22:16:18.675-07:002015-07-07T22:16:18.675-07:00Deleted the above comment because I had typos! I ...Deleted the above comment because I had typos! I always tell Rosie to do what she thinks is right for her. I would probably like her to have grandchildren purely for selfish reasons, but that would be for me, not her. You only have one life. As women, we should do what makes us happy. We spend so much time pleasing people in other respects - we should do here what pleases us. Otherwise, we just end up being resentful parents, and that's not fair on the child/children. As for taking time off with kids - I'd love to be able to take time off outside the school holidays. It's so inconvenient and holidays are so expensive at peak time. Can't wait for Lucy to leave school/college and be able to take a cheaper break. And as for Julie Burchill - why did she have to publicise her feelings about her son? That's just cruel. Kate and Oliver Hudson's father did a similar thing lately, and I thought he was a knobend too. (PS this is to make up for my comment that seems to have disappeared somewhere - hopefully the same won't happen to this too!)sallywhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08904132234331467720noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1122902030745117854.post-15831117470258279182015-07-07T22:13:33.882-07:002015-07-07T22:13:33.882-07:00This comment has been removed by the author.sallywhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08904132234331467720noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1122902030745117854.post-40413461259769859512015-07-07T15:45:27.879-07:002015-07-07T15:45:27.879-07:00I do think a lot of women probably feel pressured ...I do think a lot of women probably feel pressured into having children. My mum is really disappointed that she doesn't have grand children and that's always made me feel a bit guilty. Although not guilty enough to have children!!! All of the issues surrounding motherhood do tend to divide women. I have friends with children and ones without and the ones without get angry at having to accomodate women with children at work wheras the ones with children feel bitter than childless women don't understand how hard it is to juggle everything. I also think there are double standards where mothers are concerned because I know I judge a feckless mother more harshly than I would a father. I do think it must be hard trying to live up to the idealised image of what a mother should be. But then like you say it's a massive responsibilty and once you've had a child you're duty bound to do your best by it. Maybe if as a society we were more honest about motherhood, not having children would feel more like an option to women. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17375609435234253673noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1122902030745117854.post-59381931270249926342015-07-07T02:21:22.428-07:002015-07-07T02:21:22.428-07:00I have, actually, heard a mother say it was the wo...I have, actually, heard a mother say it was the worst mistake she ever made. I also remember my best friend, who became a mother at 19, saying that if she had her time again she wouldn't have done the same, and ditto a girl of 24 I know locally. However, from what you tell me of Julie Burchill, I think 'monster' sounds about right. That poor kid. Whatever your personal feelings, she brought that person into the world and deserves better than to be degraded in such a way, in public, as she did. I don't know much of her these days, but I seem to remember back in the 80s that she was always protesting too loudly about something or other and appeared to have many 'issues'. Her sex is not the point, it's the fact that she, as a parent, chose to verabally assault her child in public. Whether you regret becoming a mother or not, the fact is that you made the choice and need to live with it as best you can, for the child's sake. On the other hand, re your remarks about mothers being looked on favourably at work, I also think that because you've made that choice you might have to give up the rights to have everything you want career wise too. And again we come back to the current culture of entitlement, when everyone thinks they must have everything, and no hardship must be borne. I think that's the root of it.<br /><br />I don't think my mother liked being one very much. She had children late, by 1950s standards, ie, in her 30s, because she thought she ought to. She didn't do all the motherly things with us, and was more often to be found doing a crossword or reading than playing with us. But she was still a good mother, because she'd made that sacrifice and did what needed doing. Unlike so many mothers these days whose chief worry seems to be their own fulfilment, as they charge back to work as soon as they can.Terry Tylerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15077413235902203848noreply@blogger.com